1. |
My Dog Phi
04:12
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My Dog Phi
By Ryan Sasaki
My dog Phi is the greatest dog alive.
She's like half of a normal dog added to the square root of five.
She'll never put down roots
'Cause she's more active than a natural log.
Phi plus a normal dog are to Phi what Phi is to a normal dog.
Chorus
Oh, she's my dog Phi.
And she's most irrational, but much more real than I.
Though in a manner of speaking she's extreme and mean,
To me she's still the sweetest doggie I've ever seen.
[The heavens throw their stars when we walk by,]
Me and my dog Phi.
She likes to hide in flowers and shells.
And in the branches of trees or an arrangement of leaves,
You can find her there as well.
Her eyes are so pretty
And her proportions are perfectly right:
Her length plus her height are to her length
What her length is to her height.
Chorus
[We go together even better than round and pie,]
One day, I played fetch with Phi,
And the path that she took back to me
Was a special logarithmic spiral.
But I was standing in the Eye of God,
And I worried that she'd never come back to me.
Then I remembered we weren't dimensionless
And we were just fine.
But if my dog Phi ever did run away,
I'd be sad, but I wouldn't be sad
For maybe more than a couple of days.
'Cause I know how easy it is
To converge on where she's likely to be
By following the ratios of successive terms
In the series Fibonacci.
Chorus
[We'll trace golden castles in the sky,]
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2. |
Steam
03:29
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Steam
By Ryan Sasaki
I opened the door;
I saw her right away.
I fell through the floor
When I heard her say,
"Hey, welcome! Would you like to preorder?
We got these specials, here
In this bin and over there by the wall,
And it won't be any problem at all
To take your money, bleed you dry until you've got nothing left."
Oh, Steam!
She beckons me with eyes of fire and water.
Steam!
If she were dengue fever, I would have caught 'er.
She pitched it so cute
I just couldn't say no.
Now I see her face
Wherever I go.
She makes me feel all tingly inside.
I didn't need that strategy guide
Or that collector's ultra-special
Limited edition at all.
I just watched her set me up for a fall,
And I was powerless to stop her
And now I'm just a thrall for
Steam!
She makes my wallet cry, but I can't deny her.
Steam!
Why's it so hard to find the will to defy her?
[Instrumental Break (8 measures)]
I need to get her out of my mind now,
But I keep going back.
Someone help me stay away from this hell.
And my pocketbook will thank you as well.
You know, it wouldn't be so bad if her deals weren't so irresistible...
[Industrial Break (2 measures)]
Steam.
Steam!
Steam!!
STEAM!!!
I open the door;
She's not working today....
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3. |
Sandra, Why?
04:06
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Sandra, Why?
By Ryan Sasaki
You were a nice guy's dream;
You had a pretty face, but you made it seem like
You could maybe go for guys like us.
We don't have the handsomest hair,
Of that we're aware, and we lack in social graces,
And we can't sing in tune,
But we'd be over the moon if we could hold your hand.
The products of your profession,
Everything that you did gave the same impression:
You could maybe go for guys like us.
And just think how nice it would be
In holy matrimony, when you would take one of us to you,
But reality's grim, because instead you chose him.
Now I don't understand.
Chorus:
Oh, Sandra, why?
You should have been our defender,
Now you're just a pretender to the geek queen throne.
Sandra, why?
You would have been our protector,
Now you're just a defector to the bad boy zone.
We look at his body ink
And wonder, were we all foolish to even think that
You could maybe go for guys like us?
Based on what you've shown of your mind,
It didn't seem like his kind was the type you'd find intriguing.
Now I guess we all know
Our hope was based on a show, and you're like all the rest.
So now we go back to zero;
We'll be looking around for another hero
Who would really go for guys like us.
We'll find someone who can relate,
Someone who wouldn't equate “lack of danger” with "unsexy.”
But whomever we do won't hold a candle to you,
'Cause, Sandra, you're the best!
Chorus
Well, here we go again.
I hope he treats you well,
Because, you know, with guys like that you never know.
I hope he makes you happy and it lasts forever.
We'll take this pain and learn and try to grow,
And maybe someday we will.
Oh, Sandra, why?
We thought that you were an angel;
Now I guess that a change'll happen in our minds.
Chorus
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